SEO Copywriting Makeover: Good Rankings but No Sales Part 2

'I Have Nothing To Say!'; Overcoming The Fear Of Writing
You have worked hard on your business and now the time has come. You keep reading that you should do it and all the benefits of it, but the thought terrifies you! You've been putting it off, but eventually you know you are .....

by Karon Thackston ' 2004-2005
http://www.copywritingcourse.com

In Part 1 of this article series, we looked at a local home security site that had fairly good rankings but whose conversion rate was lacking. (You can see the original copy here: http://www.copywritingcourse.com/topsecurity-original.pdf.) Here in the conclusion, you'll see how several changes helped maintain this company's good rankings while improving their site's lead generation abilities.

How To Write The Perfect Cover Letter: Be Brief--And Be Gone
The best cover letters are 'one-page wonders.' Why' Because they suit today's busy employers who are already overloaded and often overwhelmed. The best way to catch their attention is to 'be brief'and be gone.' Leave them wanting more'so .....

The Rewrite

My first thought with the rewrite was to stop making "trust and urgency" the undertones and instead make them the obvious focal points of the copy. As usual, I started with the headline. The previous headline was:

When every second counts, turn to Top Security, Inc. who has been securing Orlando / Central Florida homes and businesses for 689,453,910 seconds.

I wanted something more direct so I changed the headline to:

Knock-Out Writer's Block: Listening To Your Inner Voice

When I was young, I used to talk to myself. Long, drawn out, one-sided conversations. I didn't have an imaginary friend, I just talked to myself. My mother says that's .....

Top Security, Inc. of Orlando
Security Systems From a Trusted Neighbor

This included one of their keyphrases and also made it perfectly clear this company was local and trustworthy.

For the introductory paragraph, I wanted to get the visitor's attention and hold it long enough to make a point: That security is something you need to think about now, not later. I opened with the following:

How To Write A Product Review
How do you choose the products you buy' Do you simply accept as gospel truth all the good things a merchant says about their own product' Or, do you .....

"If only I'd called you sooner." "I never thought this could happen to me." These are just a few of the many comments we have heard from our customers in Orlando. Security systems suddenly became a top priority for them, but not until after they'd experienced a frightening break-in or a devastating fire. After these disasters, our Orlando neighbors were convinced that burglar alarm and security issues should be a forethought, not an afterthought.

The copy does not beat the visitors over the head with the fact that they could be hurt, face losses, or experience some other frightening situation. It simply plants a seed of "what if" and moves on.

Breaking Writer's Block
Breaking Writer's Block

The most fearsome enemy to any writer, attacking without warning, without predjudice and without compassion, is (gasp, dare I say it') WRITER's BLOCK.
I .....

This section of the copy also lends support to the keyphrases Top Security wanted to rank highly for. Because "Orlando Security Systems" can be an awkward phrase to repeat, I split it up in several instances to help the flow of the copy stay natural.

The remainder of the page speaks to the facts that Top Security is local, has longevity in the community, is right around the corner, and offers several other benefits national security companies simply can't (or won't). Benefit after benefit is listed and explained in order to drive home the fact that a local company can ' and will ' provide exceptional service. You can see the current version here:

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